The point of the story

A few weeks ago, I spent a while apologizing to God for being so busy, for living such a fast-paced life. I said I was sorry for doing so many interviews and writing so many articles and doing so much schoolwork, and for falling directly into bed by the time I finished my day's obligations - usually at 2 a.m.

I apologized for not having more time to study His word or to reflect on stuff that happened in hopes of seeing His hand in it. I told God I was afraid I was missing the point of things because I was living so fast. But I told Him I didn't think I could help it right now. 

That night, I picked up the book “A Million Miles in a Thousand Years” by Donald Miller that had been sitting beside my bed for several weeks since I borrowed it from a friend.

I felt guilty for devoting time to it (shouldn't I be sleeping or memorizing Bible verses or doing that writing assignment for the next afternoon?).  But instead, I laughed and cried through the first chapter because the writing was entertaining and emotionally engaging. Then around 3 a.m., I was arrested by this paragraph:

“I wonder if that’s what we’ll do with God when we are through with all of this, if he’ll show us around heaven, all the light coming in through the windows a thousand miles away, all the fields sweeping down to a couple of chairs under a tree, in a field outside the city. And we’ll sit and tell him our stories, and he’ll smile and tell us what they mean.”

I just sat in awe. The things that unfold on earth have eternal significance and impact. And all these things we don’t understand, or the significance we missed because it all happened so fast, He’ll explain those things to us because He was the author and finisher. It will be the crowning event of a lifetime to talk to my Maker about that lifetime and what He was up to when I couldn’t tell. 

And so I stopped apologizing. I saw that God is writing a story through this messy tangle of time and activities and people and events that we collectively call "life." I saw that I don't always have to be on top of the plot. He's keeping track it. His Kingdom is coming, and the story won't be lost just because I fail to remember or recognize parts of it.