Yet another 2 a.m. homework session
found me last week at my desk, curled up in my swivel chair. Strong coffee and
a plate of Eggo waffles sat beside my computer like encouragement to tackle the
grammar and Associated Press handbooks I eyed with resentment. I started
putting together an iTunes playlist of study music as a stalling tactic.
After about 10 minutes, my gaze
wandered up from my screen to rest on the black and white Eiffel Tower photo
hanging on my wall, and next to it, the front page of a London newspaper I
bought months before on a study abroad trip. Right then, I really wished I
could go back. I wanted to be sitting at the dinner table with my host family,
riding trains and climbing ancient bell tower steps and gaping at stained glass
and cathedral arches instead of slogging through questions of misplaced
modifiers and the proper usage of semicolons.
I came back to the playlist and
realized every song – all of my favorites – all were about places. Each was
about going somewhere, whether physically or emotionally. I realized it’s human
nature to want to feel like we’re going somewhere, to feel like we’re making
progress, to not feel like we’re stuck in the unmeaningful.
Since then, I’ve been thinking a
lot about that Old Testament saga where God leads the Israelites through the
dessert. They got their cues on when to move from a cloud by day and a pillar
of fire by night – the visible evidence of the presence of God with them. When
the cloud lifted and moved, they packed up camp and moved to follow it. When it
rested, they rested. I realized God’s leadership was irregular. The intervals
of moving were unpredictable, but His leadership was always visible. All they
had to do was keep looking to the cloud to find direction and contentment on
the journey.
And I realized that’s what I
wanted: Not to go back to the summer. Not even to travel. Just to find the
adventure and joy in the place God has me now. I just had to stay in step with
God’s spirit leading me forward – that cloud, of sorts. And right now, it seemed to resting over college, which meant doing that grammar homework. So I hit “play” and picked up my
pen.
If you click through the links
below, enjoy the music, reflect on your journey, and remember to keep an eye on
the cloud. Rest when it rests; move when it moves.
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