Part of humanity is comparing ourselves to the others around
us. It keeps us uncomfortably self-aware. We look at a reflection of ourselves
as say one of three things, 1) I’m happy where I am 2) I can live with this
& 3) Who have I become?!?
There has always been one aspect of life where I would
respond with the latter. I have always felt a little absent in one aspect of
life- passion. Passion for one thing
that drives me or inspires.
I never felt a consuming love of any one thing- I
have no hobby that consumes my energy, thoughts, and time. I look around at
friends, family, and historical figures and see people that are filled with
both a healthy and unhealthy fascination for one thing. Maybe I am
romanticizing this almost obsessive behavior- but it seems incredibly fulfilling.
My brother has spent his life eating, breathing, and
sleeping baseball and now he’s a collage ball player. I was always so jealous
of his commitment to baseball. I was going to t-ball games and now I’m at
college games surrounded with boys just like him that worked hard to maintain
their grades and bodies in order to fulfill their desires to simply play
baseball.
In addition to my brother, one of my dearest friends is an
artist: she paints, sketches, spins pottery, and photographer. She is now
graduated with a degree in Art and is now a professional photographer. She fulfilled her dream and literally creates art every day.
My choice figure who embodies passion and commitment is 1st
Lady, Dolly Madison. Mrs. Madison ran back into an enflamed White House in front
of quivering soldiers to save treasured paintings, risking her body to conserve
pieces of American history.
But back to my own perceived lack of such feelings. I always felt that I would find my passion- so I explored different hobbies. I am
not an artistic woman- I can’t sew, knit, crochet, or create anything really.
As much as I want to be a writer, I lack the imagination (at least for now). I
am far from athletic; I can barely walk in a straight line for any length of
time.
I was discussing this with a friend and she laughed at me,
responding, “You have a hobby! It is just less expressive than others- you
read.” She’s right, but I struggled for some time with this realization. (Maybe
I’m just one of those people that has to find something to be unhappy about). I
wanted a “better” passion, something that could make itself known to everyone
around me, something animated and obvious.
If we truly “can’t choose who we love” I think it’s
safe to assert that you can’t choose what
you love. At last, I feel like I am no longer missing out on a pivotal aspect of life. I have what I love, and it is one thing, reading. This all goes back to my struggle with a Major in college- English Literature.
Now I have a response to the question, "How did you choose your major?" and I respond with a little laugh, saying, “I didn’t choose my Major, it chose me.”
I really appreciate your honest thoughts that you've shared! It's cool to hear the personal applications you've come up with as you've been pondering the word "passion."
ReplyDeleteYou could possibly consider mentioning your choice of major earlier, in the same paragraph where you talk about your friend's art major. That could weave your theme of reading into the beginning and set up for the impact of the ending. You could also add colorful details to reinforce the reading theme by saying something like you were sitting in the stands reading [title] at your brother's baseball game.
Keep it up! (:
Writing doesn't have to be about imagination and this post alone shows that you had enough material to write about something. A good imagination helps if you want to write epic novels or short stories, but good writing can stand on it's own without the imagination. I think you did an excellent job articulating the way you were feeling in this post and drawing contrasts to those around you. I liked what you did here and hope to see more of your writing this month. :)
ReplyDeleteI agree with Eric that your post shows you have a flair--if not a passion--for writing, but I would disagree that only fiction requires imagination. (I know that is not really his point, but I'm going with it anyway.) The ability to take a real-life event, even one as definitively UNinteresting as a discussion of a LACK of passion, and turn it into a thoughtful, thought-provoking, and interesting memoir-moment is the height of creativity and imagination in my book.
ReplyDeleteThank you! This has been incredibly encouraging, I have been defining imagination in a narrow and possibly short-sighted way- I hope to grow to creative writing but as you all have pointed out, imagination plays a roll in all writings.
ReplyDeleteI can relate. Sometimes I wish I had just chosen "one thing" to zero in on and master. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
ReplyDeleteI do agree with Kelcee's comment about mentioning the Major earlier. This will frame the piece as a journey toward finding your passion; that way we can take the ride with you and rejoice with you all the more when you find it (or it finds you) in the conclusion. :)
He everyone! I would simply like to, once again, thank all of you for your input on this particular piece. I have since rewrote it on my personal blog http://alifeofabibliophile.blogspot.com/ and have received fantastic feedback (and earned more followers). So I truly thank you.
ReplyDelete