Stream of Consciousness

 I love reading stream of consciousness but I have never attempted to write it. Turns out, it is extremely liberating. I thought I'd try to write it very quickly (I feel stream of consciousness is created quickly and should be uninhibited). 

Funny, once I began monitoring my thoughts I became incredibly self-aware. We should all go through our day so aware of our honest feelings. This awareness makes us healthier and allows us to deal with our fears, anxieties, and loneliness. Knowledge of our underlying thoughts make them much less daunting.

Warm water soothes an aching body- bubbles act as calming agents. Bubbles are a funny thing- I see them everywhere- they are signs of pollution in seas and lakes but beautiful fun in tubs.

Darkness fills the room, one sole flame sputters out smoke-signals.

I’m young, without sorrow- and living is easy.

But in solitude my mind races, concocting and fabricating worries. Am I happy? The world screams one definition of happiness- but the romantic notions are elusive. Is happiness love, independence, or fiction? 

Love stories always end at the beginning- leaving me no guide.

Laying in warm water, listening to the high tone of bursting iridescent bubbles, shadows cross the room- always escaping the darkness.

My cellphone buzzes- illuminating the tiny room filled with steam. Odd, I seek isolation from modern distractions yet cannot bear the disconnection from what I desire to break from. 

My eyes crave darkness but imagination cannot allow it, I light another candle.

Only in solitude do my worries arise. My imagination is too vivid. Darkness brings seclusion with it, an anxiety rarely experienced.

In freedom I assign myself chores and make myself busy instead of enjoying the solitude and peace.

Unable to be alone with my thoughts- I stay busy.

Unwilling to be still- I stay busy.

Getting out of the tub, unable to bear my solitude and thoughts- I make myself busy.